Hanged One Wisdom Reading

Hanged One Wisdom Question:  It’s said that to enjoy fiction we must willingly suspend our disbelief.  Well, what should we willing suspend in order to have a better, happier life?

I tossed three stones and ended up with an obvious top to bottom order.  There doesn’t seem to be much repetitiveness in color or transparency, but we do have opposites in meaning, Hermit and Lovers, in opposite positions (top and bottom), with Judgment in between.

9-Hermit-Fluorite.  We should suspend the idea that we are alone in the world, or that we have to act alone in order to be strong and effective.  No man is an island.  We shouldn’t believe, and it’s just not true, that what we do affects only ourselves.  There are no victimless crimes, and there is no real comfort in “if I’m doing something wrong, I’m only hurting myself.”  Conversely, depending on our web of support, and even asking for help, are not signs of weakness.  Our friends are part of us, and they are usually more than happy to help us be happy.  And even if we feel alone, or that our friends are few and far between, or far away, each one of us is part of something greater than ourselves.  If need be, suspend the belief that you are unlovable.  There’s no rule against consciously looking for and making friends!

6-Lovers-Rhodochrosite.  On the other end of the spectrum, we should suspend the idea that a romantic relationship is a necessity for happiness.  This idea is ubiquitous in our culture, but remember, a very large percentage of popular culture is geared toward selling things.  Sex sells.  We shouldn’t let that universal truth standing in the way of enjoying a fulfilling and rewarding life.  Romantic love, and sex, can be enjoyable and inspiring, and a source of misery and ruined lives.  Having them certainly doesn’t guarantee a happy life!  As I touched on in another reading, particularly unhelpful are the ideas that being with ideal lover is a completion of oneself, and that sinking ones own identity in the lovers’ is somehow beautiful or noble.  It’s actually just a particularly easy way of abdicating responsibility for ones own life.  Which is getting nowhere indeed!

20-Judgment-Petrified Wood.  Now, what about poor Judgment stuck here in the middle?  (I’ve never thought of the powerful Judgment stone as being at any disadvantage before!)  (It’s also difficult to think of a negative aspect of Judgment, except for the fact that it is a great change, for those of us who are a bit unhappy with change!)  Oh, dear, I’m over thinking this, aren’t I?  Suspend judgment!  Life is not a game, and there’s no need to keep a running score.  Yes, we should evaluate where we are and where we want to be, but not so we can beat ourselves up if we fall short or feel superior if we are on track!  Especially pernicious is comparing our “progress” with other people’s.  My life is not her life.  She might be heading in some totally other direction I don’t even want to go!  And even if I think I want her life, she may have troubles I can’t know about, or I just need to go in a different direction.

So whether we’re lonely or self-sufficient, in a happy or troubled relationship, suspend judgment.  The best way to live a happy life is to live it to the best of our abilities without looking back in anger, or self-judgment!