Hanged One Wisdom Question:
It’s said that to enjoy fiction we must willingly suspend our
disbelief. Well, what should we willing
suspend in order to have a better, happier life?
I tossed three stones and ended up with an obvious top to bottom
order.
There doesn’t seem to be much
repetitiveness in color or transparency, but we do have opposites in meaning,
Hermit and Lovers, in opposite positions (top and bottom), with Judgment in
between.
9-Hermit-Fluorite. We should suspend the idea that we are alone
in the world, or that we have to act alone in order to be strong and
effective.
No man is an island.
We shouldn’t believe, and it’s just not true,
that what we do affects only ourselves.
There are no victimless crimes, and there is no real comfort in “if I’m doing
something wrong, I’m only hurting myself.”
Conversely, depending on our web of support, and even asking for help,
are not signs of weakness.
Our friends
are part of us, and they are usually more than happy to help us be happy.
And even if we feel alone, or that our friends
are few and far between, or far away, each one of us is part of something
greater than ourselves.
If need be,
suspend the belief that you are unlovable.
There’s no rule against consciously looking for and making friends!
6-Lovers-Rhodochrosite. On the other end of the spectrum, we should
suspend the idea that a romantic relationship is a necessity for
happiness.
This idea is ubiquitous in
our culture, but remember, a very large percentage of popular culture is geared
toward selling things.
Sex sells.
We shouldn’t let
that universal truth standing in the way of enjoying a fulfilling
and rewarding life.
Romantic love, and
sex, can be enjoyable and inspiring, and a source of misery and ruined
lives.
Having them certainly doesn’t
guarantee a happy life!
As I touched on
in another reading, particularly unhelpful are the ideas that being with ideal
lover is a completion of oneself, and that sinking ones own identity in the
lovers’ is somehow beautiful or noble.
It’s
actually just a particularly easy way of abdicating responsibility for ones own
life.
Which is getting nowhere indeed!
20-Judgment-Petrified
Wood. Now, what about poor Judgment
stuck here in the middle?
(I’ve never
thought of the powerful Judgment stone as being at any disadvantage before!)
(It’s also difficult to think of a negative
aspect of Judgment, except for the fact that it is a great change, for those of
us who are a bit unhappy with change!)
Oh, dear, I’m over thinking this, aren’t I?
Suspend
judgment! Life is not a game, and
there’s no need to keep a running score.
Yes, we should evaluate where we are and where we want to be, but not so
we can beat ourselves up if we fall short or feel superior if we are on
track!
Especially pernicious is
comparing our “progress” with other people’s.
My life is not her life.
She
might be heading in some totally other direction I don’t even want to go!
And even if I think I want her life, she may
have troubles I can’t know about, or I just need to go in a different
direction.
So whether we’re lonely or self-sufficient, in a happy or
troubled relationship, suspend judgment.
The best way to live a happy life is to live it to the best of our
abilities without looking back in anger, or self-judgment!